Funny Thanksgiving Food Memory

As Thanksgiving is quickly approaching and I am planning menus and making shopping lists, I remembered a very funny Thanksgiving cooking story that I just had to share! The first Thanksgiving we were married, we planned on going to my sister-in-law's house for the big, traditional meal. This was my first holiday with Alan's family and I so desperately wanted to fit in! I offered to bring something and my mother-in-law just told me not to worry about it. She wanted me to just enjoy the day and go watch football with the guys. What this really meant was, "we don't think you can hang in the kitchen, so just show up and we'll take care of the rest." I really wanted to help out and kept insisting that they let me bring something. I would have been happy to just bring a bag of ice, but I was not going to show up empty handed! I finally talked them into letting me bring the rolls.

I was so excited because I had an amazing recipe for rolls that my friend (and blog follower!) Jennifer Watson gave me. Her rolls are DIVINE!!! I love them, and I knew this was my shot to impress the in-laws and carve out my place in the kitchen for all future holidays! Now this was very early in my cooking career and I had never made any kind of homemade bread before. But, I had a recipe so how hard could it be??? Two days before Thanksgiving I did a practice run. I was fairly confident in the process and since I had no idea what I was doing I had nothing to compare it to. I thought I was 25 minutes from pulling out some fantastic rolls from the oven! The timer went off and you can imagine my disappointment when I pulled out a tray of rock hard dough balls. I instantly panicked! This would not suffice for the BIG day! I called my mom and asked her if she had any advice for me and my endeavor. She gave me all kinds of tips. "Set the egg out for a while and let it get to room temperature." "Don't get the water too hot or you'll kill the yeast." She had some good pointers I thought. At least she had made a few batches of rolls in her life, so I kept practicing. Seven failed bathces later I was totally freaked out! I was so far into my quest for the perfect Jennifer Watson dinner roll, that I couldn't see a way out. The timer was ticking and the big dinner was soon upon us, so I made one final batch and convinced myself that they were ok. Why couldn't I hear the nagging voice in my head, "go buy 4 dozen rolls at Texas Roadhouse and put an end to this madness, you idiot!!!" I prayed, I begged, I pleaded with God to work a miracle on that bread while it baked in the oven. As I pulled them out of the oven, the really weren't terrible, so I wrapped them up and we headed to the sister-in-law's house.

I nervously brought my little basket of rolls and placed them in the line up right between the green bean casserole and the pies. "It's just a basket of rolls. There are 15 side dishes here and 8 pies. Who's gonna even notice whether they're great or not??" All these thoughts raced through my head and I just did all I could to smile and fit in to my new family. Everyone went through the line, we were all sitting, the meal was half way over and I was feeling a bit of relief about the whole ordeal. Why was I so freaked out over something so stupid? All of a sudden, two seats down from me, on the other side of my husband, there was a banging sound on the table. Alan's dad proceeded to hit his roll on the table and ask "What is this supposed to be? A biscuit?" followed by a little more banging. No one answered him. They all just pretended to not hear even though no one else was talking at the time. They all just felt so sorry for me. I wanted to stand up and scream "It's me!! I brought those hard biscuit things!" Welcome to the family!! I wanted to crawl under the table and just die right there. It was a horrifying moment. Thankfully he dropped his line of questioning and dove into the sweet potatoes.

So the past 3 years of family holidays I have sort of been confined to dish duty and filling glasses with ice and beverages. Last year I actually managed to convince my mother-in-law to let me chop some veggies. I chopped celery and onions for about 2 hours. I realize it will probably take me at least 12 more years before they ever trust me to bring an actual part of the meal. It's a miracle this incident did not scar me for life. I can't believe I ever stepped back into the kitchen at all!! I can tell you that my friend Jennifer let me come over one time and watch her make her famous rolls and I can now make them. They are still never as good as hers, but they are pretty good. There is a method to it and I was so far off it was no wonder I kept coming up with brick biscuits. And no, I will not be sharing the recipe. Partly because I have been sworn to secrecy and partly because I could not ever let anyone else endure the humiliation that might possibly come with attempting to make these rolls!!

What are your holiday food memories?